It occurred to me this morning that I never shared about Baby Spring #3 here on the blog! My, how things have changed- the blog used to be my primary source for documenting big milestones because it’s a more permanent (and searchable) record that social media. And it isn’t that I’m necessarily prioritizing other platforms over my blog, it’s that, in general? I’ve just been sharing less personal content. Part of that’s due to fewer hours spent at my desk, so I’ve prioritized business-related content, but there’s a just-as-big part of it that has to do with wanting to put a bit less of our family + kids’ lives out on the interwebs for the world to see. It’s a tension point for me, because I love telling the story of our precious family, but I also don’t want to feel compelled to document every little moment.

Back in 2019 as we were walking the road of adoption and waiting to become parents, I had a monthly self-portrait series that I used to share updates. I still love those photos so much, but having two kids now, it’s a lot harder to make time for a date with my camera and tripod. And trying to incorporate our two boys in self-portraits? Even more challenging- maybe that’s something we’ll have time to practice with during maternity leave this summer…? (Lol, probably not)

In December I shared our exciting news via this Reel and a podcast episode telling the full story– 8.5 years after we began the journey to parenthood, and with two sweet miracle boys through the gift of adoption, I got my first ever positive pregnancy test. It was a complete shock, I had given up on the hope that we’d be able to conceive (at least, not without serious medical intervention), but as it turned out, what I thought was a “no” was actually the Lord saying “not yet, daughter.”

It’s been 5 months since that morning I found out, and I still can’t get over what a gift has been given to us. All of our boys are miracles- each of their stories has been so purposefully woven, I can look back and see God’s fingerprints all over our journeys to each other. And Baby Spring #3 will have a story all his own, just like Felix and Teddy have their own.

I’ve wanted to document this pregnancy to celebrate the sweetness of this season, but I’ve encountered two major obstacles:

1. The aforementioned lack of time. On the surface, it feels self-indulgent to schedule time to do my hair & makeup + venture out to photograph myself. But on the other hand, I’m a photographer- this is how I celebrate! Looking back over the last few months, I wish I’d stopped talking myself out of dates with my tripod. Matt wouldn’t have batted an eye, and it would have been a fun challenge! I still have 10 weeks left (hopefully), so maybe I can still work something in…
2. The desire to protect my friends’ hearts who are still in the waiting or not yet phase. I don’t for one second ever want it to come across like I’ve forgotten them and their pain, because I remember feeling so alone as each one of my friends received positive news of their own. That’s honestly been the bigger driver behind the lack of documentation- I didn’t ever want it to feel like I was rubbing it in anyone’s face.

I do have plenty of mirror selfies and post-run shots (courtesy of my sweet husband), so there’s that!

During my years as a wedding photographer, I photographed more cherry blossom sessions than I can count, and for good reason- those blooms are STUNNING! And with a growing belly and squirmy baby kicks, and with Spring being my favorite season because of how hopeful it feels, I began to see why people are willing to battle the crowds for engagement & family sessions in DC.

So as the trees near our Virginia home started bursting into bloom, I knew I wanted to plan some sort of self-portrait before the fleeting season of pink petals passed me by.

But the Tidal Basin in DC is b-a-n-a-n-a-s. It’s hard enough to work down there when you’re photographing someone else that the thought of bringing a tripod + remote trigger down to the Jefferson Memorial and battling the mobs gave me a headache.

My parents have a weeping Cherry Blossom tree in their backyard, and I knew THAT was going to be my answer- I have a photo of my Mom in front of that tree from a few years ago, and it’s the perfect height to make sure you’re framed in blooms!

So of course, I waited until *the last possible day* when the petals had already begun to fall, and when the forecast was calling for 20mph gusts of wind the following day (meaning the tree would be stripped of most of its color within 24 hours), and raced over there *just* in time for the last bit of light before dusk.

Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way, but self-portraits feel like a vulnerable, intimate process- I don’t like having an audience and prefer to be totally on my own for these. So I tried to get through my shot as fast as I could while smiling sheepishly at my parents’ neighbors as they came and went.

Note to self: next time, pick a tree in a more isolated location.

Still, I’m so thrilled with how this turned out- I took a total of 84 frames, culled it down to 15 favorites, and chose frame #79 as my overall winner. Light was fading REALLY fast, and with overcast skies the light was really blue, so I shot on Kelvin white balance with the temperature adjusted to *almost* the max warmth.

This season has been challenging in so many ways I wasn’t expecting, but more than anything, I’m grateful.

Grateful for the chance to feel life stirring within me, for the unique story the Lord is weaving in our family, and for the opportunity to recognize what a miracle this babe is, what a miracle all THREE of our boys are, instead of taking motherhood for granted like I think I would have if we hadn’t walked this particular road.